Beyond the Highlight Reel: Navigating Real Life When "Things Just Suck"
In a world filled with endless social media influencers and a constant cultural pressure to "just be positive," it can feel incredibly isolating when, to be frank, sometimes things just suck.
We scroll through curated feeds of perfect lives, all while navigating our own messy, complicated, and very real challenges. This gap between the "highlight reel" and our reality can make us feel like we're failing. We're told to be grateful, to look on the bright side, but this "toxic positivity" can often make us feel worse by invalidating our genuine emotions.
The truth is, a healthy, holistic life isn't about being happy all the time. It’s about learning to navigate the entire spectrum of human experience with honesty and self-compassion.
1. The Power of the Pause: Acknowledge and Sit
When we’re hit with a wave of frustration, sadness, or disappointment, our first instinct is often to numb it or force it away. But it is important to acknowledge the feelings and sit with them for a while. Your feelings are not your enemy; they are messengers. They are providing you with important information about your needs, your boundaries, and your values.
By giving yourself permission to feel, you are validating your own experience. The key, of course, is to not stay there for too long. We don't want to let a temporary feeling become a permanent address. The goal is to process the emotion, not to build a home in it.
2. The Pivot: From Feeling to Agency
After you’ve acknowledged the feeling, the next step is to gently shift from emotion to intention. This is where you reclaim your power. We must think: can we do anything to change this? Do we want to change this?
Can I change this? This question separates your circle of influence from your circle of concern. If the situation is out of your control (like the weather or another person's behaviour), your power lies in changing your response to it.
Do I want to change this? This is a question of values. Is this situation important enough for you to spend your precious energy on? You get to decide.
3. The Path Forward: One Small Thing
If the answer is "yes, I want to create a change," the next step is often where we get stuck. We look at the mountain ahead and feel overwhelmed.
This is where you must remember the power of "one." If so, what is one small thing we can do? It doesn't have to be big. In fact, it shouldn't be big. Small, manageable steps are what build momentum and rewire your brain for success. Little steps add to big change over a distance.
If your house is a mess, the small step is clearing one countertop.
If you feel lonely, the small step is sending one text to a friend.
If you feel unhealthy, the small step is adding one glass of water to your day.
4. Follow Your Own Path
This brings us back to the social media trap. We see someone else's "big change" and feel defeated. But our life is uniquely ours, and our individual situation varies. We can't compare our raw, behind-the-scenes footage to someone else's curated highlight reel.
It is fine to take suggestions or to get ideas from others, but don't get stuck in the "their life is better than mine" trap. Their path is not your path. You are on your own timeline, with your own unique strengths and challenges.
We can't always be "on." We are human beings, not productivity machines. Honour your need for rest. Honour your feelings. And when you're ready, take your one small step. That is the true meaning of following your own path.
If you are feeling stuck in this cycle and need support in navigating your unique path, I’m here to help. Reach out, and let's find a way forward together.