How to Make Friends: A Guide for Every Age and Stage
Friends are one of the great joys of life. They are our confidants, our cheerleaders, and the people who share in our laughter and support us through challenges. While we all recognise their importance, the reality is that making and maintaining friendships isn't always straightforward. Life is constantly changing, and the way we connect with others often needs to change too.
So, how do we make friends in this busy world? The answer looks different for everyone, and it evolves as we move through the different ages and stages of our lives.
Friendship in Different Seasons of Life
The landscape of friendship shifts with time. The easy, built-in friendships of school and university can become more challenging to find as we navigate careers, family, and new life chapters.
In Your 20s & 30s: This is often a time of transition. Friends may move for work, get married, or start families. The key here is to be intentional, turning acquaintances from work or social events into genuine connections.
In Mid-Life (40s & 50s): With established routines and family commitments, it can feel like there's little time for new people. Friendships often form around shared experiences, like kids' sports, community groups, or reconnecting with old hobbies.
In Later Life (60s+): Retirement and changing family structures can open up new space for connection. This is a wonderful time to join clubs, take classes, and meet others who share your interests and life experiences.
Where to Find Your People
The first step to meeting new people is placing yourself in new environments. It requires a little courage, but the rewards are immense. The wonderful thing about a city like Auckland is the diversity of opportunities available.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Pursue a Hobby: Join a book club, a hiking group, a pottery class, or a local sports team. Shared interests are a natural foundation for friendship.
Volunteer: Give your time to a cause you care about. You’ll meet like-minded people who share your values.
Take a Class: Enrol in a course at a local community centre or university. Learning alongside others creates a powerful bond.
Join a Community Group: This could be anything from a parents' group to a local board game club or a gardening society.
The key is to try new things to meet new people. Stepping outside your comfort zone is often the first step toward finding your tribe.
Redefining Friendship: There Is No "One-Size-Fits-All"
It's crucial to remember that friendship looks different for everyone. We are all different; some of us like lots of friends, while for others, they may only need one close friend. There is no right or wrong way to be a friend or to have friends.
Let go of the pressure to have a bustling social calendar if what you truly crave is a quiet coffee with one trusted person. Furthermore, friendship doesn't always have to look traditional. For many, your friend can be a pet that provides unconditional love and companionship. In our digital world, deep and meaningful connections can also be found onlinewith people who share our niche interests.
Ultimately, friendship is about connection, and that can be found in many forms. The goal is not to collect as many friends as possible, but to find the connections that genuinely nourish and support you, whatever works for you.
So, be brave, be open, and be true to yourself. The right people will appreciate you for exactly who you are.